Kiss & Tell?

Contrary to my own observation, other people believe that my children are lovers, not fighters.

Yesterday was their last day of school before Christmas and I got glowing reports for both of the girls when I picked them up. Maggie, I was told, is just so cheerful and has a smile that will brighten anyone’s day. I was told that the “lover” in her just bursts out in the form of hugs, smiles and blown kisses.

Mia, Mia is a different story. She apparently spent the morning demonstrating her “lover” side by holding hands and kissing her little classmate, Austin. They had to be separated. I haven’t told Isaiah yet. I also don’t know whether to write down in the baby book that Mia has had her first kiss. Sigh. At least the reports I’ve had of Austin are that he’s a good kid, not likely one to kiss and tell considering his verbal skills are still quite developmental. I do know that he knows the first letter of the names of each of his classmates. Show off… trust Mia to fall for the brainy one in the bunch!

Another *BIG* sigh.

Our house has been full of little stories – the other night we taught Maggie the sign for “all done” at dinner and and then made a big deal of it when she used it. She was so proud of herself and we were all getting a chuckle out of her enthusiasm as she did the sign.

Well, Mia is not one to let the attention drift from her control for long, so she quickly copied the sign and announced, “I’m all done!” This did not get the same result, as Mia had eaten about three bites of macaroni and cheese whereas Maggie had polished off two complete plates plus three chicken nuggets. Mia decided that proof was in order to get excused from the table.

She puffed out her stomach as big as she could and gestured to her belly: “My tummy’s got full. See, it got big. I’m all done!” She looked like one of the poor starving Ethiopian children I would see on t.v. as a child… and it got a laugh out of us. She escaped from the table…

Another that I’m trying to decide whether to put in the baby book is Mia’s current fascination with clothing. I created a bit button for her to wear on the days that she refuses to wear what we ask her. It says, “I Dressed Myself Today.” Everyone particularly liked it the day she wore her nightdress with sweatpants and pink sequined sandals and, to top it off, refused to have her hair brushed.

Now, I know that some parents would just lay the law down and force her to wear decent outfits, but I honestly just decided to pick my battles that day. It’s amazing the number of compromises I have begun to accept. Back talking has no compromise… but clothing when she’s at least covered… I can compromise.

Anyway, she’s discovered the art of wedgies. It’s partly because she’s not really a specific size in her backside area. Some of her underwear fit like bloomers, some fit like what I would expect. Isaiah got the full joy out of the wedgy department a few nights ago when Mia flew into the nursery wearing nothing but her underwear and a smile.

“Daddy! I have an edgy!” she said proudly and she twirled around to give him the full view of underpants askew, one little cheek bared for all the world to see.

What do you say to that? An “edgy”? Goodness. We decided to just laugh.

We also dared to attempt a trip to Wal-Mart this morning. Not a great plan, but I had promised Mia a balloon. We still hadn’t gotten her a balloon since the one flew out of the car to “be with God.” She has started asking for a balloon a lot and I used that to my advantage today when I forced her to go get a flu shot.

She was not excited about the shot and assured me that she didn’t need it because her “coughs is getting better” – but I didn’t listen. Instead, I bribed her with a balloon if she was a brave girl in the doctor’s office.

Well, she was great and, as a result, we are now the proud owners of a “Happy Birthday” balloon with Sleeping Beauty, Cinderella and Belle pictured.

On the way home Mia and Maggie were cackling because Mia kept bopping Maggie over the head with the balloon. I listened to both of them laughing and laughed myself.

That laughter also caused me to stop and consider my own priorities.

I have spent the last few weeks in a blaze of planning, last minute details and stress trying to get the semester closed appropriately for my job and prepare for next semester’s teaching. I have found myself short-tempered and distracted with everyone in my family.

I have also witnessed some mothers saying particularly ugly things to their children (“I know you didn’t get what you wanted, but I also didn’t get what I wanted… so I guess we’ll both just be unhappy!” and “I’m so sick and tired of your whiny voice!”) and it convicted me about how I speak to my children. Do I consistently talk to them in a way that I would be proud if anyone overheard me? Sadly, I don’t think that I do. There are times when I believe I would be profoundly embarrassed if I watched my actions on a video later.

Christmas for us this year is not going to involve a lot of presents or a great spectacle. But I am making a vow to myself to stop being distracted, stop being stressed, stop being busy and sit and truly just be present with my husband and children. That’s my gift to them, and to myself. I want to be able to have the clarity of focus needed to enjoy the laughter of my kids rather than be irritated by the squeaking sound of scratching cellophane when the balloon gets smacked around the car.

All this to say – I wish you quiet and clarity and forgiveness and joy this Christmas season. And I pray that it will continue you with well into 2009!