Where's my Supersuit?!

I am sitting at Mima and Popi’s house, listening to Maggie cry because she’s getting her diaper changed and the more distant sound of Mia talking with excitement! It’s been a lovely journey – all 19 hours of it – getting to Arizona. And so nice to be home!

There are just a few thoughts I’d like to send out to everybody along with Christmas wishes…

Mia – after 12 hours in the car and about 3 hours of sleep, wakes up at the gas station and passes an enormously loud and long bit of gas. I looked at her with surprise and she smiled, eyes closed, and said, “Mommy, I need to go potty. I’ve been tooting all… night… long.”

So that’s what the smell was! I thought it was just the smell of the bag of Ruffles potato chips!

And, our greatest investment last year was a portable DVD player. With the car rides that we do to Arizona from Oklahoma, it has become an invaluable tool to maintain sanity. This trip included the viewings of Tinkerbell (twice), Ice Age and the Incredibles.

(Yes, the woman who was very nervous about even having a t.v. in the house for fear that it would damage the psyche of the little one has compromised to the point of 8 hours of television while the babies are trapped in the back seat. It’s a sad, but true commentary on the depth of my desire to not sing “The Wheels on the Bus” and “Little Bunny Foo-Foo” for 11 hours.)

Anyway, I am thinking about the Incredibles. One of my favorite scenes in the movie involves Frozone trying to save the world but not able to find his super suit. He asks his wife where it is and their conversation always makes me chuckle:

LUCIUS (FROZONE): Honey?
HONEY: What?
LUCIUS (FROZONE):Where's my supersuit?
HONEY: What?
LUCIUS (FROZONE): Where is my supersuit?
HONEY: I, uh...put it away.
LUCIUS (FROZONE):Where?
HONEY: Why do you need to know?
LUCIUS (FROZONE): I need it!
HONEY:Uh-uh! Don't you think about running off doing no derrin'-do! We've been planning this dinner for two months!
LUCIUS (FROZONE): The public is in danger!
HONEY: My evening's in danger!
LUCIUS (FROZONE): You tell me where my suit is, woman! We are talking about the greater good!
HONEY: ''Greater good''? I am your wife! I'm the greatest good you are ever gonna get!

I truly love the interplay between spouses here and the glimpse into the very real priorities that most every married person I know struggles to balance. Apparently Mia loves the scene too, because the next day, after a sleep and everything, she looked at me and seriously asked, “Mommy, where’s my supersuit?”

Goodness knows we all need a supersuit to get through the holiday season! With all of the demands, it’s a wonder we even look forward to Christmas at all! I guess that’s why more people I know are emphasizing the “priceless” things about Christmas more than the presents… or, wait, maybe that’s because of the economy. Who knows.

However, I think that my “Mommy Supersuit” is starting to get more comfortable. As I review the past year – things are getting better! Having a child sleep through the night has a lot to do with that, I think. Even with my confidence in how far we’ve come, I still struggle with the significance of the role I play in my little girls’ lives and I want to take it seriously.

One of my favorite “new” Christmas songs is called “Breath of Heaven” or “Mary’s Song.” It has a haunting, beautiful melody and the lyrics speak to what Mary may have felt, knowing that she had been chosen to bear the son of God. The second verse says:

Do you wonder, as you watch my face

If a wiser one should have had my place?

But I offer all I am

For the mercy of Your plan

Help me be strong, help me be, help me

When I listen to this song (as I have about 100 times since Thanksgiving day – I refuse to listen to Christmas music until Thanksgiving has passed, but then it’s almost non-stop) I feel such an intense connection to this concept of motherhood.

“Should a wiser one have had my place” in raising these stunning, exasperating and charming girls? Someone who knows more about how to tell when you should go to the doctor? Or how to successfully potty train? Or how to introduce Emotional Intelligence so that they will have a better chance at “success”? (Whatever that really means) Someone who has infinitely more patience than I? Who never raises their voice or has a conflict with their spouse? Some family earning more money, with no worries?

Even if I am terribly lacking, as I so often feel, “I offer all I am” to this venture. I may not do it excellently at all times, I do commit myself to mothering. And I commit myself to being real with these children. As best as I can view, life doesn’t come in glittery wrapped packages like the ones under the tree. It comes in messes that you sort out and trying experiences that you survive. I offer all I have to being authentic with my children and the people around me.

“Help me be strong”… help me when I am worn out by the non-stop questions, by the knowledge that consistency is vitally important to childrearing and that no should mean no, even when I’m exhausted and even when it would be so much easier to just say yes. Help me make my word my bond and something that people can count on.

“Help me be”… help me not lose track of who I am in the middle of all of the other expectations. Help me remember that God is in the stillness, meeting me when I am quiet to just “be.” Help me understand that the whole of who I am is much more than the immediacy of being a mother. I want to remember that I love to snowboard! And read books! And play the piano! And travel! Even though these aren’t significant parts of my life right now, they ate still part of my “being.” They’re just waiting, like an unfinished beverage, to be picked up again when this mothering task allows.

“Help me.” I am so honored to be a part of a community where people reach out. The USA is not a perfect place, but I love it that we are willing to reach out to other, to donate our time and resources, to offer a hand in friendship to our neighbors. That we have the freedom to do so. I am so grateful that when I ask for help it’s there, whether it be in the form of my husband (who leaves me speechless with his goodness), our families (indescribably wonderful), friends (you know who you are!), co-workers, community, or country.

So, as I send this little (no, wait, this one’s enormous! Sorry!) missive to you on Christmas, I am personally feeling quite blessed and enjoying Providence, regardless of circumstances. I hope that as you read you are encouraged a little – and know that I love you!