Play-Dough

I’m not certain, but I think it’s quite likely that Play-Dough was invented by demonic forces.

I realize that this statement could be considered by some as almost anti-American, going against the core joys of childhood and creative pursuits.

All I know is that I set out a few containers of Play-Dough on my kitchen table and then wandered throughout my house, frantically cleaning for the visit from family and when I returned there were bits of virulent purple Play-Dough all over the table, in the window blinds, mashed into my toddler’s hair, in Maggie’s diaper, and littering the floor underneath the table like fragments of a Molotov cocktail.

I discovered the state of my kitchen after spending a solid 30 minutes (following three days of intensive clean up) once again following the results of the toddler tornado and picking up the bristle blocks, pieces of torn coloring pages (they were destroyed in order to create bandages for a variety of imaginary wounds), flash cards, and beaded necklaces.

I’m pretty sure that I should throw every single toy in our house away immediately. No, scratch that. I should have a garage sale and bestow these special curses upon some other unsuspecting household. They’ll think it’s a bargain to get these imaginative toys at rock bottom prices. Ha ha! My little plan for world domination continues…

Isaiah got a text message from me: “You owe me. I don’t know exactly what you owe, me, but it’s something after the amount of work I’ve done to get ready for this visit!”

Is there a free masseuse out there? Maybe a chiropractor willing to donate their services for a needy cause? Anyone know anyone from Ten Thousand Waves in Santa Fe??

This is a photo from after they told me they had cleaned everything up!

My pitiful attitude is probably worse because I’m pregnant. Well… honestly, I know it is. (And, those of you who don’t actually look all the way through our monthly photos – you could have known that news earlier!) I know this because Maggie just came up, clutching a Play-Dough covered chicken nugget (thought she’d finished those at dinner over an hour ago – was she hiding this one in her diaper for later?!) and breathed disgusting chicken smells on me. I need to pause to spend some time heaving over the toilet.

Bringing me to my next point. Three children in four years… what are we thinking?!! I’m pretty sure that it was mostly my idea, too. Bummer.

OK. Enough of my complaining. I have some Play-Dough to excavate from Mia’s ears. Maybe that’s why she can’t hear me asking her to do things…

Hope everyone is doing well. We miss you!

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As a postscript... shortly after I sent this out I got a return message from a good friend:

"You broke a very important rule of Mommying: Play-Dough, paints, chalk, toothpaste, shampoo, Ketchup... are never left out on a table for all to see and ENJOY!"

OK - the positive side of this is that I now know to avoid paints, chalk (shudder - haven't even considered bringing that into the house!), toothpaste, shampoo and Ketchup.

The bad part is that if this is a cardinal rule of Mommying, shouldn't I have gotten a hand out at the hospital or pediatrician's office stating the "DON'T DO THIS" rules along with a vaccination schedule?! Seriously! The not-so-swift parents out there like myself need all the help we can get!!

Now. Is it a really bad thing that after having written toothpaste three times I now want to go and eat it from the tube? It sounds so refreshing and like it might help my stomach settle down...