Thankfulness and Stress

We have been in Branson for Thanksgiving this week. It’s been so nice to spend time with my mom and dad and watch the girls. We have enjoyed staying in the same lodging as last year (although I really do with they would provide us with more than one roll of toilet paper for two bathrooms and a week-long stay).

It’s been a great time, but has had its share of ups and downs, mostly for Mia. That, in turn, causes ups and downs for all the rest of us.

For example:

The up: We got free samples of fudge from a store that they served to us on miniature spoons. Mia loved the spoon more than the fudge.

Also an up: She liked the spoon so much that she began to carry it in her sock. When we asked her why she needed it in her sock she told us that it was her “Ter-Moderator” and a necessary item for discovering whether her foot was hot or cold. We eventually deduced that the termoderator was actually intended to be named a “thermometer.”

The down: When we didn’t let her sleep with the spoon in her sock Mia had a major meltdown.

The up: Mia was able to put the spoon back in her sock when she woke up in the morning.

The down: Sometime in the morning I invited my dad to sit on the sofa with me. Mia was terribly upset and told me that he wasn’t allowed to sit on the sofa. I was not inclined to allow her to make that decision and let her know Grandpa would sit wherever he pleased. Mia howled and ran into the bedroom because she “wanted to be where Mommy couldn’t see her.” She pouted for a long, long time. This attitude eventually led to another set of wails and her sitting on my lap while I held her still for a time out.

The up: My mom asked Mia what the spoon was called because she had forgotten. Mia’s response?

“I don’t remember. But Grandpa’s sitting on it.”

Grandpa located the termoderator underneath his buttocks, we solved the mystery of why he had been banned from the sofa and why Mia had pouted so much, and we were able to continue the morning with a good belly laugh about the incident.

The down: Even though this little situation has a funny ending, the reality of our past few days has left me questioning my sanity and what hope I have for the future. Isaiah and I have already agreed that the Terrible Twos have nothing on the Threes. Mia seems to be completely consumed by her emotions, blocking out so many of the things I absolutely adore about her.




As I was putting her down for bed tonight I analyzed how tired I am of fighting her. And then I became very discouraged. What if it actually never, ever gets better? People keep warning me about the teenage years. About how moody girls can be. About how the time comes when girls hate their mothers.

Every time I have faced low parenting times in the past I have consoled myself with the thought that this is just a stage and it will pass. But what if it doesn’t?

And, with Maggie following Mia so closely, what if Mia just passes from this atrocious stage into another and Maggie follows right behind? What if this new baby is colicky, like Maggie was, and we just have a screaming nightmare for months or even years on end?!

Usually I am able to find the humor in our crazy situations, but what if there really isn’t a silver lining this time?

Now, I admit that there are times when I’m more prone to this desolation than others. Right now my back is messed up again and Isaiah has his knee and ankle messed up with soccer-related injuries so we’re both a little depleted. Two weeks ago at church they had a blurb about filling bags with necessary items for people who are homeless and I spent several intense hours imagining that the girls were going to have to go to school hungry because we were unable to feed them and that we ended up eating at a soup kitchen and warming our hands around a fire-filled 50-gallon drum while sleeping under a bridge.

When I’m weak physically I become weak emotionally.

I guess the moral of the story is that I need to choose my attitude. I need to cultivate an “attitude of gratitude” no matter what the circumstances. I can do that, most certainly. It just takes effort and sometimes a willingness to step into a optimism that smacks of insanity.

But I sure would appreciate some rays of hope from people who’ve been there, done that. Rays that don’t say anything about how hard the days are to come and just tell me how to survive the ones I’m in with grace!

Maybe those rays will help me to concentrate on the absolute joy I saw in the girl’s faces last night at the Dixie Stampede as they watched those horses parade by our seats.

Or how amazing it is that Maggie is potty-trained and I haven’t changed a dirty diaper in at least two weeks.

Or how proud I am of Mia when she tells me that the Christmas lights up all over are beautiful because that’s how Jesus loved each one of us.

Or how amazing it is that my husband is willing to pretend to be a horse named Brian and let the girls ride on his back, even though his body is hurting.

Or how grateful I am that I am spending a week with my mom and dad, who are in good health and genuinely people I enjoy and respect.

Or that I am blessed to have a job that is fulfilling and a house that is warm and cozy.

I guess those are the silver linings. Hope springs eternal.

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.” - Philippians 4: 6-7