In light of the downturn in the economy and a desire to streamline our investments, we are downsizing our family. Here’s the advertisement, please proof and give me any suggestions that may be pertinent:
For sale: Two gently used children of the female persuasion. Both are in questionable health and come with their own tiara’s, unwashed clothing and ability to sing the ABC’s and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star ad nauseum.
The 2006 model is well known for her theatrics. These increase in number and significance the longer she goes without a nap time. Since her school has eliminated nap time from the day, each evening is almost as good as a fireworks display! As an additional feature, this model comes with a running faucet of snot from the nose in response to the blooming of ragweed in the area.
Our 2007 model is also unique. Currently sporting a double ear infection, this one-of-a-kind gal has the special knack of not only climbing the walls and knocking full glasses of ice water into your lap, but waking you up with a screeching, “Mama!” four inches from your face at 2:30 a.m, 3:15 a.m., 4:45 a.m. and 5:50 a.m. - invest in this opportunity and you’ll never need an alarm clock again!
The 2010 model is not currently for sale, though based on demand this situation may change. All models come from a smoke-free home.
Please direct all inquiries to: mama@mamaistired.com
Sorry, offers for trade will not be accepted.
JJ
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