Oh joy! Oh rapture! An opportunity to demonstrate faith!

Today has not been a good day so far.

Just wanted to share with you what has occurred in the last 15 minutes. Maggie had been sleeping fitfully, and then let loose with a beautiful, stinky, blow out diaper. I wasn’t too disturbed about the blow out because, as you well know, poop from this child is what we love to see.

So… I put her in her new diaper, take off her dirty clothes and go to the bathroom to try to get the stains out of the sleeper before it sets in.

I return to the attached photo. The amount of vomit was beyond anything I have seen before. There were actually pools of vomit underneath her, not particularly evidenced by the photo.

After using multitudes of paper towels I decided that the best option would be to stick her in the shower. I strip her down and go in to the bathroom… set her in the bath tub and then watch as she lunges to the side and clocks herself on the side of the tub. Cries ensue and I pick her up, covering myself in vomit at the same time, and comfort her. Turn on the shower and get the shower head going… and discover that it has changed temperature and she’s scalded (not too bad, but she was uncomfortable). Finally get that straightened out and now she’s cleaned up, happy in the Exersaucer.

I’ve cleaned up the changing table and Mia is screaming for me, awake from her nap. Whew. Am I going to be arrested for child abuse???

Calgon… take me away… J

****PAUSE FOR A TWO HOUR BREAK*****

Because the day wasn’t eventful enough, I later trapped Mia in Maggie’s feeding chair on the counter while I did dishes and Maggie napped. This worked out rather well for awhile, but after awhile she got bored of pulling things out of the cabinets and opening them and emptying them onto the floor.

So, with a mighty heave, she launched the entire chair off the counter onto the kitchen floor! Fortunately, she’s ok, though I think I lost a few years off my life with this episode and learned why patience is an acquired trait.

Sometimes there’s just stuff that the Swiffer won’t pick up and I realized that this is the day I needed to get on hands and knees with the Pine Sol and do the deed.

Here I am, on hands and knees with my hands burning a little (I got the concentration wrong on the cleaning solution, I think) while Mia stops on her routine patrols around the apartment for things to get in to to pull my pants down and check to see if I’ve gone potty in my diaper. I’m chagrined to state that on the last lap she stopped and checked, then began to clap her hands and cheer, shouting, “Mommy! Pee pee!” gleefully. And here I thought I had that whole potty training thing down. Who am I to try to teach others when apparently I’m not capable of it myself?

Now that I’ve vented, I suppose that I’ll take a break and see what else the day has in store.