Mia has just been saying the funniest things lately. I guess she’s just in a new developmental stage where things are starting to click for her and she’s actually able to verbalize them. All I know for certain is that she has three different stories that have charmed me in the last two days:
We went to Sam’s Club together since Isaiah was away on a soccer trip. I hate being in the house alone, so I figured that would be a good time to make a pilgrimage to the mecca of bulk foods. Mia and Maggie were both really good, so I took them to the mall play area afterward.
After a bunch of playing (both of them… Maggie kept going down the slide head first though) and bossing around we decided to window shop a little.
And Mia, whom we have been talking to about making friends (“When you want to make a friend, smile and say, ‘hi!’” we tell her), began to speak to all of the mannequins in the windows.
That in itself was funny enough to me, but then came the kicker: “Mama, they not hear me. Them bodies not say, “Hi.””
“I know, Mia, but that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t try to be friendly anyway.”
A little further, with Mia continuing to try to make friends and influence people, I caught sight of some newly minted mannequins that were simply white, shiny blobs wearing clothing. Mia caught sight of them, too and suddenly gasped and said, “Mama! Those bodies not have faces!”
Ah, Mia. So begins the education of consumerism and illusion.
Today I discovered Mia holding her last slice of mandarin orange above the empty bowl and addressing it intently:
“Baby - your mommy’s gone, your daddy's gone and your grandma's gone.
“Now I eat you. Ok?” A very concerned look on her face as she questioned her citrus. Then came the assurance:
“You see your mommy and your daddy and your grandma. Bye, baby!” and away went the orange on its digestive journey.
And, finally, today when I came home from soccer I discovered yet another unexpected and unwelcome guest in my garage. (Yes, Mortimer II’s cousin is alive and well in our home. I found him and I’m certain it’s not the same mouse that I wrote about before. This one is much more plump and moving more quickly. I chased it with the broom and ended up vowing, “That’s it! This is on, mouse! And you’re going DOWN!!!” to the bathroom cabinet as he collapsed into something the size of an atom in order to escape. Grr!!!)
As I began to undo Maggie and get her out of the car seat I noticed what looked like a bicycle chain lying on the ledge of the wall between the house and garage. I pondered this, thinking it odd that we had that lying around when we don’t own a bicycle.
And then it moved.
It was tiny. But unmistakable. A SNAKE!
I grabbed Maggie and whisked her away from danger, then waited a good 40 feet away in the street for Isaiah to come home from soccer with Mia. I described the problem and sent him in with marching orders… to remove that thing from our area because there was NO reasonable excuse for its existence.
He captured it and told me it is a corn snake. He was 110% certain of that and then assured me that it was the “Good” kind of snake and I would want it around.
At this point, he was holding its head and the nasty thing had wrapped its tail all around his wrist. Ug! He asked Mia if she wanted to touch it.
I said no, citing the good excuse that she wouldn’t know how to not touch a snake if she found one on her own.
Isaiah talked to her about this and, drat having a child who can understand and speak!, she promised she would never touch a snake unless Daddy was there. And then… she touched it. And said she liked it.
I died a little inside.
Isaiah asked if we could keep it.
I said no, not ever, Ever, EVER. And I suggested he bash its head with a rock.
Negotiations ensued. It ended up being released in the drainage ditch waaayyyy across the street. He asked me if I wanted to touch it before he let it go because, “It’s a chill snake. This is a nice guy – and he’ll eat rodents – are you sure we can’t keep him?”
When I again definitively answered no, Mia decided to add her two cents.
“Mommy, this snake not yucky! Promise!”
Lord help me.
At least Maggie was quiet.
That’s our life right now.
2 comments:
I told my mother-in-law, who also hates rodents, about the critter crawling up your leg. She more than squirmed! It's been fun keeping up with your blog; glad you logged on last year.
JJ,
so funny! My Lia also plays family with random objects like batteries, pine needles, etc. I can totally imagine her talking to the mandarin orange.
That Maniquin story was great! You're a great writer. I think I'll have to bookmark you!
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