Harmony and Melody

Isaiah and I celebrated our sixth anniversary this past week.

While six probably seems like a small number to many people (my parents, for instance, have been married for 42 years and probably would struggle to remember anything specifically from their sixth year of marriage!) to us it has been a lifetime.

Six years is the longest I have ever had a job (except for being a student). Our six years have been pretty special though not without some significant challenges. Having three kids in four years being a blessing and challenge – not to mention job stress and moving across the country on top of the regular stresses that are a part of life.

One of our students recently wrote on Twitter that he was the harmony looking for his melody. It caught my attention, maybe because I play the piano and can envision so clearly the importance of both harmony and melody in a tune.

Music invokes emotion. Marriage invokes emotion. Emotions such as:

Fatigue... There have been seasons where I looked at my husband and tiredly said, “Well, I know I would never want to be angry or argue with anyone other than you!” There have also been seasons where I look at my husband and my heart melts and I get tingly in my tummy. Though they’re not always easy seasons, I wouldn’t trade them for the world.

Gratitude... When we started dating I used the phrase “You’re the biggest blessing God has ever given to me.” I still feel that way today.

Satisfaction... When we dated I had a list of over 30 items that I hoped would be present in my spouse. Everything from a guy who likes trucks to someone who would be a daddy instead of a dad; someone who would love God more than he loved me and was at least six feet tall. As I review the list today I laugh at my qualifiers – I’m pretty sure that Disney movies impacted my thinking more than I realized! Even so, Isaiah met and exceeded my expectations. After six years I realize that every girl should start with a list, but also realize that a complete package is more than will ever fit onto a piece of paper.

Complementing... Jerry Maguire has the famous phrase “You complete me.” I’ve always thought that was really stupid. I never wanted to have a man complete me. Instead I prayed for someone who would compliment me. I love it that Isaiah has always allowed me to grow in my own mold, rather than in a mold he placed me. Phrased another way, even though I lost my “Story” to become a “Veale,” I have always been given the freedom by my husband to be “JJ” in addition to – instead of in place of - “wife,” “mother,” “housekeeper,” etc. His nature makes me a better person on a daily basis.

I do hope that our student finds the melody to his harmony. Knowing this particular student and his quirks makes me really look forward to the type of gal he would marry! What I continue to hope is our students who are still looking won’t give up or be rushed into accepting a spouse who is like a basic primer of music. I hope that they will seek out the concerto, the masterpiece of instruments and melody lines with intrigue and passion.

After all, after six years of this tune I’m still fascinated to see what music Isaiah and I will make together in the future!