PATIENT EXCUSE

We have just gotten home from a trip to Saint Francis Children’s Hospital Urgent Care. In what I pray is not the first of many trips to the ER, Maggie was diagnosed with “nursemaid’s elbow.”

This afternoon she was being all coy and sliding around on the kitchen floor on her belly. I don’t know why she does this worm interpretation, but it’s really not uncommon. Well, she flipped on to her back but her arm didn’t go with her – it was trapped in a backward spot and I heard a loud pop. She cried a good bit, but eventually settled down.

We continued on our day and I just kept noticing that she wasn’t using the arm. She also would just cry suddenly for no reason. When I offered her a favorite treat and she wouldn’t pick it up with that hand, I knew there was something wrong – this is Maggie we’re talking about. She doesn’t let anything stand in between her and something that can be digested.

Because it was so late in the day I was sent to the hospital. Now, keep in mind, Isaiah is not with me, he’s on a recruiting trip. So there I am, an injured Maggie and a perfectly exuberant Mia in tow. Recipe for disaster.

Long story short, Mia was confined to a chair in the room for quite a bit of the time and Maggie just sat despondently on my lap. The doctor came in, manipulated her arm, Maggie screamed bloody murder, I felt the tendons on her elbow slide back into place, and then, magically, the clouds cleared, Maggie began to giggle and they let us go. No harm, no foul!

I’ve just spent some time looking up nursemaid’s elbow: “This type of injury occurs when the radius (one of the elbow joints) slips out of the joint. This usually happens when the arm of a small child is accidentally pulled too hard. It is an easy problem to fix and after a few minutes the child can use the arm without any difficulty.”

Unbelievable! It was an amazing, almost instantaneous transformation in Maggie.

The funniest part, however, is the rest of the paperwork we brought home from the hospital: “PATIENT EXCUSE: MAGGIE VEALE was seen on 11/20/1008 and is excused from work from 11/20/2008 through 11/21/2008.” What about mom? Do I get excused from work??

(Did I mention she threw up on me in the hospital waiting room. Yeah, life is grand.)

Overall, however, my attitude is quite perky because I am also pleased to report that a combination of 14 months of nursing and 5 days of stomach flu have accomplished something phenomenal. I am wearing my skinny jeans! The ones from before I was ever pregnant!

Now, I admit, it did take some gyrations that could be liked to a bread machine kneading dough wiggling to get into the jeans, but once on they fit! Yippee! And I can still breathe!

I called Isaiah to report this fabulous news and his response was: “That’s awesome, honey! You know, if you get pregnant again you can’t wear those jeans anymore.” What a buzz kill. J

That’s all from here. I’m off to rustle up my own excuse from work!