Pumpaments

Just in case you didn’t know, the defining factors of becoming a “Grown Mup” are your head and belly.

Just ask Mia. She’ll be quite happy to illuminate you on the subject.

We were having a discussion about the peppermints on the counter, which I told her she could not have because she was a child.

Mia: Can Daddy have “pumpaments”?

Me: Yes, Daddy can have peppermints whenever he wants because Daddy is a grown up. You are still a child.

Mia: No! [spoken in a tone of outrage] I a “grown- mup”! See?! See my head and my belly? [this included smacks on to the top of her head as well as a solid thunk to her tummy] I am a grown mup!

I did not find her reasoning to be compelling and so she is still wandering around the house, talking about “pumpaments.”

While this is infinitely more entertaining, it’s not the only conversation topic that has been in the house lately.

I had some students over last night who are in leadership positions on campus. We were talking and they mentioned their disappointment that there were not more student-motivated activities taking place. That branched into a conversation about what being a leader means and what is holding people back from actually committing to an action and following through.

It took me back to a conversation I had with my class earlier this semester. We had watched the movie, “Amazing Grace” together and were talking about the physical commitments that opponents of slavery experiencing in order to destroy the slave trade in England. I finally asked them, “What are you, today, willing to die for?”

The answer was silence.

I asked them about family – a few people muttered. I asked them about faith – there was a look in the room because they thought that they should state yes but wanted to be honest. I mentioned the USA – and people spoke out that they would absolutely not die for their country.

In the end, the three motivating factors that have been historical reasons for fighting were denounced by my small study sample.

So, then I asked if any of them had ever been in a fight, physically. A handful had. Their reasons? “Immature,” “Over a girl,” “To show off to my friends.” Basically all because of verbal insults.

It was fascinating and also alarming to me. I hope that they each find a spot where they are willing to fight – complacency never having worked out particularly well for anything except cows. But I think my class is a microcosm of my world today. I think we are afraid of saying anything for fear of offending others, for fear of hurting people’s feelings with the idea of disagreement.

After all, “can’t we all just get along”?

I think that it’s possible to have disagreements that don’t destroy friendships, disagreements that actually bolster relationships because they engender a healthy mutual respect for your “opponent.”

Am I unrealistic? Just turning into a combatant? What do you think about all this?

In the meantime, I’ll head back to living with my little ones. As I type Isaiah is trying to get Maggie to sit down at the table and eat breakfast, while Mia is in the bathroom singing, “Happy Birthday” off-key and incorrectly… but with gusto! I will rejoin my life!