Getting Married

My cousin wrote my parents a letter to announce her engagement. I wish I were half as hilarious as she is and decided you might get a kick out of reading a few excerpts of the letter:

"Things have changed for me too, I’m getting married. There have been other far more insignificant changes, of course, but that’s really the biggest thing.

I think you’re going to love Phill when you meet him.

1. He loves me and takes care of me. I love him and hope I do the same for him.

2. He has two parents who are married to one another. They live nearby.

3. He has a job.

4. He loves my coupon clipping and wants to get a Costco membership.

5. No tattoos, no kids, no ex-wives, no bankruptcies.

6. He’s met the family, the family’s met him and we’re all still talking to one another – willingly even!

7. He’s been to Valona and knows why I love it. Of course, once he loves Valona, what else do you need to know?

I haven’t become an auctioneer yet but I did get to light one the other day. I got to run the follow spotlight for a big fundraiser and part of the fundraiser was an auction. It was so cool to hear! That guy was a weird one, though, his name was “Spanky,” which just sounds silly once you turn 50 or so and he told us his wife was a cross dresser, by which I came to realize he meant she’d chosen to wear pants, rather than a dress, to the fundraiser.

Just odd - who says that about someone they really care about at all?!"