Welcome to Nebraska! Here's your sign.

That's it. I have moved Nebraska to the coveted position of "Least Favorite" state.

As if traveling for 13+ hours three weekends in a row with a baby, toddler & preschooler to this state for soccer games was not sufficient to develop my character, I was pulled over tonight for going 69 mph in a 65 mph zone.

Seriously?!

Then, in addition to informing me that the moment I crossed from Kansas into Nebraska the speed limit dropped from 65 to 60, thus causing my citation-worthy infraction, Officer Sunshine tells me that Mikayla's carseat is wrong, all wrong and must be fixed in the dark, on the side of the road while all three girls are asleep and she is in the carseat in question. He didn't offer to hold her for me so I could accomplish this task.

I'm not going to lie. I cried. Lots. I couldn't breathe from my nose until I hit Council Bluff, IA.

I still got a ticket, though. Hard-hearted Officer Sunshine.

The shoulder straps were set at the incorrect height, the chest snap was ill-positioned and apparently there has to be 1" of space between the rear-facing seat and the driver's seat or she might die if we get in an accident.

He went into great detail about how she would be flung from the car and smushed up when we got hit by a drunk driver and how I was a negligent parent for not having the carseat set up appropriately.

Which is exactly what I want to hear at 11:30 p.m. when I've been driving since 4 p.m. And I still have an hour left to go. And I already have regular nightmares of my kids dying in car accidents, trapped in their carseats and crying for me to get them out.

Thanks, Officer Sunshine, for doing your civic duty.

So, not only am I a lead foot, can't read road signs, and a negligent mother, but I'm going to be hit by a drunk driver in the 60 dark miles between Stateline, NE and Omaha and my infant WILL DIE.

I fixed the carseat. Mikayla screamed bloody murder but didn't wake her sisters up. There is a God in heaven who took mercy on me in keeping those two motor mouths asleep!

The rest of my drive was completed curled up like a cooked shrimp with my knees wrapped around my ears so there'd be an inch of space between that stupid carseat and my seat.

But we didn't get hit by a drunk driver. And no one's dead.

Honestly, I'm glad he told me because I really do want the little ones to be protected to the fullest, but it was not a great way to be greeted by the great state of Nebraska, home of corn, corn huskers, football maniacs, people who wear red non-stop, and the only two soccer teams in the conference who defeated our women's team this season.

We better win tomorrow's game in the conference tournament. I've decided it.

That was the extent of my evening until I arrived at the hotel and discovered what I thought was my night gown when I was packing was actually a pair of pants.

So unless I'd like to try the fashion ensemble suggested by my 3-year-old I guess I'm going shopping tomorrow.

Because guess what Nebraska DOES have that fills my heart with honest, overwhelming rapture?

Costco.

Now, that's something worth dreaming about!